I'm back

It's been a while.

I was doing okay for a while. We got a cat, and I thought she was helping the morning anxiety a little, then a lot, for the last few weeks. She is amazing, but some of the morning anxiety is back.

I didn't eat much dinner last night.

It's back,  but i'm not really clear what I'm thinking about. I've accepted that eventually I do want to move, but I'm not putting a timeline or a deadline on it. I do think that the thing I'm antsy about the most, in spite of not knowing when this will happen, is the actual move itself. Living there is fine, even though I will probably be lonely and upset for a while before I get settled. It's just the anticipation of everything else leading up to actually getting there that I feel so strongly.

Work is pretty good though, for the most part. I do three days a week at the florist and three days at an internship at Studio Theatre, where I also started acting classes. It doesn't pay, but I get my classes for half-price and a ton of administrative and box office training. And of course I'm networking my face off. And it's really validating to be with people who understand my goals and what I'm trying to do.

I went back to my okcupid. I still refuse to upload a picture, but I've been messaging this pretty nice guy from Pittsburgh. Don't know if I really want anything to come of it, but it's sort of fun to know there are other people out there.

And lastly, I realized a guy was trying to hit on me on the train home last week. Really awkward and  kinda creeoy. I think I saw him again yesterday. The likelihood of that happenimg again is like...I can't even.